SEX-

(photo by olivia bolles)

Relevant magazine (not something that I read typically but it blew up facebook last month) posted an article about abstinence with some interesting postulations on why no one is a virgin anymore. More specifically 80% of 18-28 year olds (who profess Christianity) are having sex.

The article makes a case that marriage is happening later and later in life and people are having to remain abstinent for 15 years as opposed to 5 therefore it's more difficult. Another argument is this:

"As young Christians mature into their 20's, it's natural for them to reevaluate their beliefs as they strive to figure out how their faith fits into their expanding worldview. If they determine they can drink responsibly and watch movies and listen to music with a discerning spirit, is it possible the 'don't do it because it's wrong' message gets tossed aside along with all those other legalistic messages of youth? That they start to believe they can also have sex 'with discernment?'"

I see several factors influencing the growth in sexually active Christians:

There are groups 20-somethings who don't interact with people over 50 ever. EVER. Where do you gain a different opinion if you hang out with yourself all the time?! I know way more old people than young with marriages that have been successful. And for the most part they've just been through more! As a young person it's hard to see consequences and the future and our bodies take what we abuse them with and keep performing. Some perspective (watching someone with liver failure changed my drinking more than any other factor could have) can only be gained from life lived. I think this concept applies past physical damage as well.

With an emphasis on feelings I can't think of a reason you wouldn't have sex. And we live in a feelings based society. Do it because it feels good.

Finally the extension of childhood through college and beyond effects the long wait for marriage/longer temptation period. Not to go basic college psych on anyone but the more posh the life the longer childhood and lack of responsibility yes? Yes. The idea that we should be marrying like Romeo and Juliet with the lives we lead in America to me seems unwise. Adults (and I mean people in their 30's and up) aren't living within their means, aren't handling conflict within their marriages well and yet we'd expect an 18 year old fresh out of high school to have a handle on that? I know that there are many different beliefs on young marriage- the south where "ring be spring" is a real thing- but I can't imagine my 18 year old self being successful at marriage to Joshua. And I want success more desperately than I want nearly anything. More than I want sex right now for sure!

Anyway, that was kinda intense but I figured I'd put it out there.

And an article about spicing up monogamous sex.